MY NAME IS
DAVID MICHAEL CRAY
(CRAYFISH!)
WELCOME TO MY
“LEARNING TO LOVE”
WEBSITE!
RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS? TRYING TO COOK UP SOME LOVE AND IT JUST HASN'T BEEN WORKING THE WAY YOU HOPED? HEART HURT AND TRYING TO MEND YOUR LOVER'S HEART AT THE SAME TIME?
On this “Learning To Love” website you will learn some of the best tips for helping relationships to improve or even be saved from what may seem like an inevitable disaster.
Any relationship can improve!
It just takes a few mindset changes and some working out the issues that have been causing a rift in your love connection.
Here you will get these great tips plus five amazing book recommendations that many people all around the world have attributed to improving their relationships and their lives tremendously!
Apply these tips and reap the rewards! I hope you enjoy this site and all that you can get from your relationships!
Disclaimer: Some of the links on this site are affiliate links, so I may receive a commission if you purchase through those links at no extra cost to you.
Here We Go!
TIP #1:
"HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE."
Think “Happy Wife, Happy LIfe” like Jeff Allen joked about in his comedy show by that name. Or it can be “Happy Spouse, Happy House.” or for those not married it can be, “Happy Lover Pleases Significant Other.” Whichever wording you use the meaning is an enormously important mindset for a better friendship and an easier life when you are in a relationship. This attitude helps you avoid 99% of the problems that self-centered thinking causes. It is a mindset that helps you remember that in any argument you can be right or you can be happy. Any argument you win now may mean a loss in the grand scheme of things if your loved one feels that they lost in the process of you winning.
Even if you know you did nothing wrong, always saying something like “I am sorry that you felt hurt by what it seemed to you that I was doing” can make things work out better for you both. Then, try expressing that you did not intend to seem that way to them and that you will try to avoid seeming that way in the future. This can help tremendously. This will turn arguments that you could not possibly win into very special bonding moments without even having to fully take the blame for doing the thing you know you did not do. (Because we never make mistakes. Right? Of course Ha! Ha!) Just kidding.
Everyone makes mistakes, but sometimes we don’t even see what we may have done or our loved one may see something we didn’t. But taking the initiative to ask forgiveness anyway can do wonders for restoring the love lost in an argument. Asking forgiveness doesn’t mean you are a lesser person. On the contrary, it means you are better than someone who would have a narcissistic attitude.
As a bonus, try asking for forgiveness for not expressing love in the way that you know they would want you to express it to them. If you explain that it is a weakness that you want to overcome and did not intend, then most of the time they will fall head over heals for you, knowing you are not arrogant or narcissistic. Most people know narcissistic people are a nightmare to be with, so you will seem like a great catch. But don’t forget to follow up with some really big expressions of love in other ways or it might seem like all talk and no effort.
TIP #2:
DON'T LET THE LOVE BANK GO INTO THE RED!
Try to do some small expressions of love every day, and follow these tips to deposit love into your relationship’s love bank. You would not expect to withdraw money from a real bank if you had overdrawn your account beyond the limit. So why is it that people think they can do that with love from their relationship’s love bank.
Deposit every day whenever the opportunity arises. Take advantage of every opportunity to make them know you love them. Willard F. Harley Jr.’s book “His Needs, Her Needs. Building an Affair-Proof Marriage.” describes this problem well and gives great advice on how to avoid going into the red in your love bank account. You can get it here:
Book Recommendation #1:
Here is the actual affiliate link
TIP #3:
KNOW YOUR LOVED ONE'S LOVE LANGUAGES!
There are five main languages that Gary Chapman pointed out in his book “The Five Love Languages”.
They are 1.Words of Affirmation, 2. Acts of Service, 3. Receiving Gifts, 4. Quality Time, and 5. Physical Touch.
There is no wrong love language for anyone to have as their main love language that they receive from the best. Everyone is unique and receives love differently. When expressing love, touch all the bases first. Do this enough times to figure out which languages work the best for them. You can even ask them what they think their love language is. Then, focus on the main two languages they respond to the most for the majority of what you do to express your love to them.
Remember, expressing love is not done by doing what we think the other person should or would want us to do for them if they knew what we know. It is doing what they would truly want us to do for them as they are now. It is a hard thing to know for sure, but you will get better at it as you go.
Focus on the main two languages, but my tip is to keep checking back occasionally with some of the other languages, just in case you were not presenting the love language the best way when you tried it before. You may find one works with them later that didn’t work at first. Plus, some people grow to like other ways you show love to them over time. I like to try to hit all the bases every once in a while and then do the main one or two languages more often.
Also, their answer about what their love languages is is a great guideline, but not a rule as they may have never really experienced the other languages being expressed in the right way before. Many people will also like the spontaneity of you trying new things sometimes. But always remember, you are doing it for them, not just to feel good about giving to them, so the language is vital to fitting with what will make the most impact in their eyes.
You may find combining languages together works better sometimes. Keep working at it. This is learning the art of communicating love. Here is an affiliate link to Gary Chapman’s book:
Book Recommendation #2:
Here is the actual affiliate link:
TIP #4:
DO THINGS SELFLESSLY, ESPECIALLY TO REPAIR A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP.
When love is broken and hurts are hard to bear, selfless acts of kindness and unconditional forgiveness are the answer. But make sure you don’t let conditions slip back in when you feel you have been selfless for a while. Also, boundaries may be appropriate until trust is reestablished and they may be necessary, but you can still love and be helpful and kind during the process. This usually is possible even while keeping safe and easing into more positive relations with them. If safety is an issue, then you should make that a priority and only consider in-person meetings once they are getting help through counseling if there is a danger of violence. People can change, but they will need help to work through the issues that have been driving them into that kind of behavior.
Even in less dangerous relationship rifts, it may seem one-sided for a while and feel awkward, but remember you are trying to save what once was a wonderful relationship when it began. As hard as it may be to believe, it can be even better in the future. Consistent selfless acts of kindness work like a loving version of positive “Chinese Water Torture.” Chinese water torture was a way to break the spirits of prisoners of war and used to get them to give information. A single drop of water would be dripped consistently on the forehead of the prisoner until they broke and started telling all. It was extremely effective at breaking the spirit.
However, we can use something like this to our advantage, only with love instead of water. Just a constant steady persistent drip of love on the angry person’s heart is all it takes. Exactly like with Chinese Water Torture, that negative spirit will break every time eventually without fail if you do it long enough. It can take a long time and there may be resistance and disbelief at first, but no one can resist a love so persistent and unwavering that it is undeniable. They will eventually become sure that you are a different and better person than before during the times that frustrated them. When they finally break, that love for you will return and then the relationship will be like a bending palm tree that grows stronger from the storms bending it so much. Many have found that their relationship got better than it had ever been. Many have testified to the power of this method.
“The Love Dare” is a powerful book from the wonderful movie “Fireproof” with Kirk Cameron. It describes one of the best methods that many have used to fix broken relationships with persistent selfless acts of kindness. I highly recommend this book. It is one of my favorite books of all time because of how powerfully it can work in relationships. Here is an affiliate link to the book:
Book Recommendation #3:
Here is the actual link:
TIP #5:
Learn What God Says About Relationships. How Does God Love?
It is important to learn how The Creator of the Universe views love and relationships so we can benefit from the aspects of His design in the universe that effect relationship issues. All of the universe is guided by a set of principles that God explains in the Bible.
If we align our values and our actions with His values, then those principles will benefit us instead of hurting us. This is a study guide about the book in the Bible called “The Song of Solomon” also called “The Song of Songs”.
The Song of Solomon is the Bible’s Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships that is found in God’s Holy Scriptures. I hope you will go through this guide with your loved one together as it can really help with relationship problems. The language in this book is from a different time and so it references a few foreign ideas.
But, this is a book that can simply give you a better idea of what God expects in relationships. If your loved one is not ready to go through this with you yet, then going through it yourself may help you find out what could get them interested in fixing the things in your relationship that are not working.
Book Recommendation #4:
Here is the actual affiliate link:
TIP #6:
Submit One To Another And Love Each Other With
The Love of Christ Flowing Through You!
The Bible says to love others as you would have them love yourself (Matthew 22:39). It also says to submit one to another (Ephesians 5:21-33,1 Peter 5:5, Philippians 2:3, Galatians 5:13, 1 Timothy 2:11). Neither of these commands are to only the woman or to only the man in any relationship and the commands are given many times. These commands are directed to everyone all throughout the Bible, God’s Holy Scriptures, to help everyone have better relationships. What is even more important concerning these two ideas is that to be successful at overcoming relationship challenges we must listen to the Creator’s Holy Spirit for wisdom on how to best accomplish these two tasks and any thing else we want to do right.
We also must ask for the strength to carry out God’s will in our own lives in order to accomplish all these things recommended on this page or in these books. We can not do this without God’s help.
The best way to get God’s wisdom and strength is to repent of our sins (our mistakes and flaws) and to ask Jesus Christ into our hearts accepting Him as Lord and Savior. Then, His Word in the Bible says that He will abide in us and we can get His wisdom from within instead of aimlessly searching for it outside of our own heart not knowing when it even makes sense. With Him in our hearts, we can then know from what our conscience says and can reason the scriptures with Him. That way we don’t have to wait for another person to explain something in order to understand it. Our questions about truth can be answered from God within us immediately. I have experienced a drastic difference in my ability to comprehend the Bible and other complicated truths from this change within me since I accepted Jesus’ Holy Spirit into my heart.
Without taking this step, God will not communicate directly with us because He is a just God and cannot look on sin. All have fallen short of the Glory of God according to the scriptures. God still acknowledges our ontological goodness being made in His image, but His word focuses on the necessity of a relationship with Him through His son Jesus Christ. That is what brings our righteousness and blessings in life. We all know there are areas we have not been perfect to the level of Godliness. We need Jesus’ sacrifice on the Cross to be applied to our sins so that God’s law is not carried out against us. Instead, the law can be fulfilled through Jesus Christ’s forgiveness. This way God can communicate with us directly as needed whenever we have questions.
God may sometimes take a little time to answer questions to make sure we are waiting on Him patiently, but He says in His scriptures that He gives wisdom freely (James 1:5) if we ask wisdom of Him. He can give you the best tips and guidance on how to fix your relationship problems, better than anyone else ever could! So ask him into your heart and get the benefits of perfect guidance and divine strength to fix your relationships and then watch what you do have a profound effect on your love situations!
TIP #7:
Learn What God Says To Do To Fix All Areas Of Your Life!
The Bible has been a source of inspiration for many people and has been the reason many relationships have survived as long as they have.
The information in God’s Word can help you fix many problems in all the areas of your life. Following the Creator of the Universe’s advice is the best way to get the principles of the universe to work in your favor.
This book gives advice inspired by the God of the Universe on many subjects that can improve relationships, prosperity, and peace of mind.
It is the most published book ever and in almost every language. This is an affiliate link to a version of the Bible specifically designed for couples called the Couples’ Devotional Bible:
Book Recommendation #5:
Here is the actual affiliate link:
I HOPE THESE TIPS & BOOKS HELP YOU TO COOK UP A GREAT LOVE RELATIONSHIP! IF YOU WORK ON IT YOUR RELATIONSHIP CAN BE BETTER THAN EVER!
MAY GOD BLESS YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH LOVE WITH PEACE, JOY, UNITY AND SUPREME HAPPINESS! GOOD LUCK!
BUT BEFORE YOU GO, GET A FREE SERVING OF ONE OF MY FAVORITE CRAYFISH CREATIONS SERVED AT THE LINK AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE!
I hope you enjoyed this secret “Learning To Love” Website and all the great tips on it! Definitely check out those books as they are amazing! But before you go I want to let you in on a special offering I am making to my Crayfish Clan Fan Club!
My name is David Michael Cray and I am a classical guitarist/poet/composer/recording engineer and I want to offer you a special gift of a free album called “Little Miracles” that I created. This album is a collection of improvisation pieces showcasing my skills from many years of learning to compose and perform finger-style guitar music.
A little about me: I’ve performed over 1000 times since 1990 and I still perform regularly. I have also shared the stage with top 40 Christian billboard artists “Overflow”, have won poetry awards from the International Library of Poetry and Brevard College, and have studied privately and in master-classes with many of the absolute best classical guitar and lute teachers and performers in the world including:
-5 grammy award-winners : William Kanengizer(L.A Guitar Quartet), David Russell, Paul O’dette, Norbert Kraft and Sergio Assad.
-The 2 top teachers with the most competition-winner students in the world. Aaron Shearer and Bruce Holzman.
-Award-winning classical guitarists : Ricardo Cobo and Andrew Zohn.
-Former student of the infamous Andrés Segovia Torres, former professor at UNC School of the Arts, and former Director and Founder of The Music Entrepreneurship and Career Center of the Peabody Conservatory: Gerald Klickstein.
-Award-winning composer and professor at UNC School of the Arts: Kenneth Frazelle.
-Award-winning composer and professor at UNC School of the Arts (also interim Dean of Music and Assistant Dean of Performance): Lawrence Dillon.
-Ted Award Winning classical guitarist and professor at Brevard College: Roger Cope.
-Royal Conservatory of Brussels Grand Prix Piano Competition Winner and Award-winner of the Presidential Certificate for Excellence in Teaching from George Bush: Douglas Buys.
-and many more great performers and teachers. I was truly blessed that my education was a boiling pot of the greatest in the world for this Crayfish Musician!
Bonus Tip #8
Everyone Loves Sincerely Heartfelt Thoughtful Gifts!
I know I promised 7 tips, but this bonus tip is important. As one of the 5 love languages, gifts are one of the languages that most people love receiving even if it isn’t their main love language that they receive the best.
That is why I am offering the free gift of my album for you to have and to give to your loved one if you like! Since you signed up to get access to this website you will also receive a link to that album in an email soon.
However, I also want to share an offer of an even more amazing gift package you can give to your loved one to those that sign up to get my album. This offer will be available at a discounted rate for a limited time!
Below is the link to a signup sheet for an exclusive webinar where you’ll get a chance to learn about how to create a precious memory for your loved ones and there is a special bonus offer for all of you lovers who are in relationships with someone who also loves finger-style guitar music. That way you will have the chance to go deeper in our relationship and create an amazing musical memory for your loved one that will be remembered forever! It is a really fun and educational webinar I think you will love!
Here is the link to the exclusive "Making Musical Memories" Webinar:
Disclaimer: This PDF is not a substitute for counseling and you should decide for yourself what to do about your relationships based on the best knowledge you can gain about the subject, not from these concepts alone. This PDF is not meant as advice.
It is just some of the things that have worked for me and my wife, for the years since we met in late 2009, and that many other people have testified to these methods working for them with their relationships. Although I am certified as a Peer Support Specialist for peer counseling, this PDF is not intended as counseling. It is only meant as a resource to help you make your own decisions about your
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